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Confidence

Young people with confidence will have the belief in themselves that they will ultimately succeed.  They’ll be more likely to take the chances needed to learn about themselves. They may be willing to try harder and have less fear of failure. More importantly, they’ll rebound from failure.

Build confidence in your teen by 

  • recognizing their effort
  • supporting them to build skills

Competence

Teens need to possess real skill sets to be able to navigate the world. These include communication skills, self-advocacy skills, peer negotiation skills, and academic skills to name a few. Young people also need to be able to make wise decisions. 

Build competence in your teens by:

  • Not solving the problem for them
  • Listening while they work through possible solutions to a problem
  • Support them to manage school and peers

Connection

Human connection allows us to more fully celebrate during positive times and to recover during challenging times. It is the connection with your children - based on knowing who they really are - that is the most protective force in their lives. 

Build connection with your teens by:

  • Talking with, not talking at
  • Encouraging other positive connections

Character

Young people with strong core values make the strongest contributions, have the best sense of self, and have the most secure and healthy relationships. Think of character strengths as those things that ensure we do the right thing – even if nobody is watching. We need people who know how to do the right thing!

Build character in your teen by:

  • Noticing and nurturing your young person’s inherent character strengths and teach and reinforce others. 
  • Modelling those character traits that we hope to see in them.

Contribution

Young people want to matter. Ultimately, they want to have a sense of meaning and purpose in their lives. When children and adolescents are given an opportunity to make a difference they also gain strong protections for themselves. They learn first hand of the joy of giving. 

Build contribution in your teen by:

  • Encouraging them to take opportunities to make a difference both in school and in the community.

Coping

Life is about making choices. Stress is a part of life - an uncomfortable reality. We do what we can to minimize discomfort. The choices we make to cope with our discomfort can be negative or positive. Negative ones can work in the short run, but bring great harm to us and our communities in the long run. 

Build coping in your teen by:

  • Teaching and modelling healthy coping strategies
  • Teaching and modelling wiser, healthier choices during challenging times

Control

Core to resilience is knowing that your actions matter. Without a sense of control we cannot possess hope. And without hope, we crumble in challenging times. How we parent makes a large difference in our children’s sense of control. Young people who know that their parents are pro-development — supporting all stages of their growth - understand privileges are earned with demonstrated responsibility. 

Build control in your teen by:

  • Avoiding “because I said so”
  • Teaching and modelling making choices
  • Not protecting them from natural consequences of their choices

Adapted from - https://parentandteen.com/building-resilience-in-teens/
Look out for our “Building relationship with your teens” course

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